Frustrations and Sweet Victories

It was the best of days, it was the worst of days.

Today I woke up and went for a run outside. I needed to go for 3 miles, and only made it 1.46 before I crapped out. And I needed to go 30 minutes and I only lasted 20.

I got to my car and drove home and by the time I got home, I had forgotten why I quit in the first place. I still, even 12 hours later, haven't a clue why I quit. I'm sure I was out of breath. Maybe that's why?

At any rate, I've come to the conclusion that it's a head game issue. I am fully capable of running a 5K, but my head is telling me that I can't, so I quit.

How does one get over that? How do you get over that? I'm willing to take any suggestions at this point!

So, that's my current frustration.

My sweet victory is this: I put on my jeans yesterday and noticed I could slip them off without unbuttoning the button or unzipping the zipper. This, combined with TV ads from Old Navy subliminally suggested to me that I may be in need of smaller jeans.

So I trekked out the mall. I tried to find the next smaller size of jeans, but couldn't. Well, I found the size I was looking for, but the leg length I need didn't seem to exist unless I wanted to buy skinny  or stone-washed jeans (I'm short, so I was looking for the shortest pair possible--which are still too long for me, but that's besides the point). Now, I'm not sure if the 80s trend of stone-washed jeans are coming back into style, but I'm still considered thick, and there's no way in h-e-double hockey sticks that I'm going to wear unflattering stone-washed jeans. And the same goes for skinny jeans, if you ask me. Sure, they hug your butt so that looks good, but who wants to see my humongous thighs in the tightest jeans possible?

At any rate, after asking for some help, the sales ladies were able to find me 2 pairs of jeans in my size that were short. I went to the dressing room and they fit!

And if you're like, "well, big whoppdiedoo..." lemme drop some knowledge on you. This size of jeans that I successfully put on comfortably is a size of jeans I haven't fit into since SIXTH. GRADE.

I remember when I finally got out of wearing kids clothes, I was immediately a size 12. First day of 6th grade, I was wearing a size 12 pair of koolats (yeah, don't ask me what I was thinking--I truly don't know).

So, I may not have been able to run a full 3 miles today, but I've gotta say, I'm pretty dang proud of myself for working hard enough to get into these jeans.

Now it's time for me to boldly go where I have never gone before. =)

Meg

It's been a (long) while...

It's been over 5 months since my last blog post. I should probably get better at this.

So much to say! I don't remember much of March or April, or most of May for that matter--So I'll skip to Memorial Day weekend and catch you up from there.

Memorial Day weekend, I went to Ireland. Long story short, my folks live in Dublin (no, they're not originally from there and no, they do not plan to live overseas for their remaining years), so I went to visit them. We didn't do a ton of walking, but did our fair share, touring Powerscourt and Glendalough.

The one thing that I was most excited about when touring Powerscourt was that I was able to walk circles around my dad. I'm not sure if that's because he's another year older, or because I've become fit enough to the point that I can now not only keep up with him--where once my parents used to have to drag me along to do things--and now have to drag them along to places.

I was in Dublin for 4 days and then my mom and I packed up and headed for Prague, Czech Republic. It was absolutely AMAZING. I cannot wait to go back. If/when I go back, I'd definitely go with a significant other tho. Don't get me wrong, it was nice going with my mom...but it's definitely a city of lovers. Anyway, we walked. And we walked. And we walked. Our hotel was on the outskirts of old town and 3 of the 5 days we walked all the way to the presidential palace and back. Probably 2 miles each way and the palace is on a significantly higher elevation.

We returned to dublin for a couple more days and then I flew back to the states.

I pretty much gorged while I was in Dublin. I'd eat a huge breakfast in Prague, but then mom and I would normally wait to eat again until dinner. So despite having a glass of wine or guinness with nearly every meal, I LOST 10 POUNDS!

I've managed to keep the 10 pounds off. But I haven't lost any more weight since.

In July, my personal trainer was promoted and as part of the promotion was given her own gym to manage....35 miles away. So, I had to find a new trainer. My new trainer is TERRIFIC. Seriously. We did benchmark testing and in the first month, despite not losing any weight, I lost 2.5lbs of fat and gained 1.5lbs of muscle. My resting heart rate went from 160 to 108 after a 3 minute step test. My sit-ups are off the charts. Push ups are still needing work, but I'm working on it.

Oh, and I'm training for a 5k that's in 2 weeks. Yeah. Me. Doing a 5k. Never EVER thought that that could happen. I'd always wanted it to, but never thought it was a possibility. I've gone from barely being able to do a 16 minute mile to doing an 11 minute mile. Today I ran outside for the first time. While it wasn't a PR, and I need to figure out a better pace for myself, I'm completely proud of myself for overcoming the fear of jogging outside and in front of people.

Let's see...what else? Still not drinking soda of any kind. 7 months and still going strong. :)

My next goal is to run the 5k. And to lose 20-40lbs by Christmas. It's totally do-able. I just need to buckle down and do it!

What are ya'lls health goals to finish up by the new year? What are you going to do to get there?

Meg

Down for the Count

...but I'm going to get back up. Soon. I swear.

Right now I'm suffering from MAJOR allergy issues/borderline sinus infection and I've been dealing with this since last Friday. I went to the gym anyway on Friday and Saturday, but haven't been back since. Sad face.

I'm really exhausted and I have a huge meeting in the morning (not really huge, but it's still an honor and important meeting, so I should be well-rested and look damn fine for it, too rather than my usual 15 minute morning routine).

Anyway, I've lost ~15lbs since the new year. Today I went to the doctor's office to make sure I didn't have an URI or Bronchitis or something and they weighed me. Normally I weigh myself first thing in the morning, scantily clad. Can't really do that in the hallway of a doctors office. So I slipped off my shoes, put my purse down, stepped on the scale and held my breath. 193.5. Whew! I can dig it!

If that wasn't enough of an ego boost, I had to go to Kinkos (or I guess it's now FedEx Office...whatever, it'll always be Kinkos to me) to make photo copies for choir. I normally go in once a week and all the staff know me pretty well. One of the staff (woman) said to me after the other staffers went to the back room, "Dang! You look GREAT! What's your secret?!" "Weight Watchers", I replied. She asked if I was planning on losing any more and I told her that I need to lose a WHOLE lot more weight before I'm even in the healthy stage. She told me that I look really good now. Made me swell with pride.

One good thing about hacking up a lung and sneezing my brains out (figuratively, of course) is that my abs are getting an awesome workout! Not necessarily the way that I'd want to work my abs all the time, but it's pretty durn effective now, especially since I'm not well enough to go to the gym.

Alrighty, time for bed.

Peace and health,

Meg

Pants on the ground

You may be thinking, "What the...?" from the title of this post. More specifically, you may be thinking back to American Idol's "Pants on the Ground" seen here:

I'm mostly referring to the fact that no longer am I a size 18. No longer am I a size 16. I am comfortably a size 14!!!

It has been 10 years since I've been this size. TEN. YEARS. My size 16 jeans wore out in the inner legs (where they always do), and Old Navy was having a kick-butt sale this weekend on jeans, so I went and picked up a pair. I thought I'd try on the 14s first for the hell of it. And they.fit.

I nearly cried. The scale still reads 197.5, but my pants are shrinking and that's all that matters to me.

Yesterday I celebrated by going to the gym at my apartment complex. My personal trainer at work has made me addicted to this bad boy:

..and there's actually one in my apartment gym, so I've been doing at minimum 20 minutes a day for the past couple of days. Yesterday I actually did 30 minutes on level 4 on the cardio setting. Today I pooped out after 20 minutes. I probably could (and should) have done 30 minutes.

Tomorrow it's back to working with my trainer. I'm really proud of myself for working out not one, but 2 days on my 3 day weekend. Here's to hoping I keep it up!

Cheers!

Meg

A belated (but promised) post on Muscle Works

I promised a couple posts ago to write about my muscle works class I've been taking. Here's the scoop.

I was nervous at first to go into the class for a couple of reasons:

1) Can a big girl handle it?

2) Having arthritis in both of my knees, will I die of knee pain?

I'd tried a kick-boxing class before I began all of my personal training 6 months ago, and had to bow out after 10 minutes from the intensity. I was super nervous that it was going to happen again.

I get into the classroom, and the first thing I notice is: THERE'S HARDLY ANY ROOM! The classes are free if you have a gym membership and it's only $5 to drop in for the day. And there's no sign-up necessary. I somehow manage to squeeze myself in between one of my coworkers (my gym is at work), and another lady (who was a big girl, too! Answered my first question!). Because I was running in at the last second, I noticed that everyone had a set of weights, a body bar, and a mat. With so many people in the class, there were no mats left. The only weights they had were 10lbs, and the only body bars available were 15lbs. Not the ideal weights, but my trainer has me working with about that weight, so I'll give it a go.

Class lasted 45 minutes. Grapevining in close quarters was...interesting. I had to be very conscious of not stepping on my, or anyone else's, equipment. I was pleasantly surprised with not only the instructors instructions of "go at your own pace", but also suggestions of modifications for those with weak knees (ding, ding!! 2nd Question answered!) or weak back.

We did everything from push ups, to rows with the body bars--which was a KILLER considering I had a 15lb body bar!--to calve raises, to...things I don't even know the proper terms for, haha.

The gist of the class is to help you build muscle. The only thing that was truly difficult were the excessive amounts of squats. But again, with the 'go your own pace' attitude, I took it in stride.

I was so. sore. for 3 days after taking the class. To the point that I honestly had a hard time walking for 2 of those days. My inner thighs burned so bad. But my thighs are starting to look good, so I won't complain--too much. ;-)

I've taken the class twice now. I'm trying to go once a week. It's semi-difficult to get to the class because it's during the lunch hour and 1) I like to eat, plus 2) I have to leave my desk early so I can dress out, and then have to dress back into my work clothes, which eats up an extra half hour that I have to make up at the end of the day. But like I said, legs and arms are looking good, so I can't really complain.

The first day there the instructor (who also happens to be my trainer) counted 46 people in attendance. She said it was the largest class she had ever seen, and hind-sight, she probably should have cut the class at 35 or so. The second class I've attended, there were about 35 or so. Again, I've heard that's unusual. The influx is generally due to those who have made new years resolutions--so I've heard, anyway. Maybe the class will thin out as the months wear on.

All in all, Muscle Works was a fun, tough workout and I'm looking forward to adding it to my exercise routine.

Meg

Walking in a winter ONE-derland!!!

Growing up, whenever my father would sing "Winter Wonderland", he'd sing:

"A beautiful sight,

we're happy tonight,

walking in our winter underwear."

Well, today I re-claim the "underwear" for "ONE-derland.

That's right. When I weighed in this morning I hit 199.0!!! I'm officially in the 100s!

I've still got a ways to go, though. And I'm up for the challenge.

To make my ego even bigger today, one of my choir members asked me before Mass (church) today if I've lost weight. I smiled and said yes. Made me feel like a million bucks. =)

I can do this!!!

Meg

Reaching Goals

I've been working with my Personal Trainer for nearly 5 months now. We've been doing monthly evaluations to see how I've been doing. I had one on Tuesday.

From November (we skipped December at my request because it was just bad, and I knew it was going to be), I've lost 5lbs, 3 inches in the obliques area. And 0.3% of my body fat. Since my first session 5 months ago, I've lost 1% of my body fat.

My trainer was all excited that I lost a whole percent of body fat. BUT, I've got to say, I wasn't. Yes, it's fantastic that I've replaced fat with muscle. But I look back to my first session and the goals we set. The goal was to lose 2% of my body fat in a month. It took me 5 months to lose 1%.

I know that it's mostly my doing that the weight hasn't come off quicker. I drank at LEAST 20 oz of non-diet mountain dew every day. I also ate McDonald's nearly every day. But I've been pretty darn good this whole month, and so to see only a 0.3% reduction was disappointing.

So what am I doing about it? Did I decide to give up? Nope. I'm actually working harder now, I think.

I forced myself to go to a Muscle Works class yesterday (of which I will give a review of at a later time). And I've been doing Windsor pilates nearly every day this week. My muscles are sore, but it's totally worth it.

I'm gauging my success based on the reduction/elimination of my love handles. Which is a weird way to gauge, I know. BUT, I've eliminated 1 set of love handles, and am nearly finished eliminating my second set--which means I'll have a flat back for the first time in....years.

How do you gauge your successes? Is it in the numbers or in changes you notice/how you feel?

Meg

I really want mac n cheese right now...

...with the bread crumb topping, cheese-y goodness, and scrum-diddle-y-umptous carbohydrate pasta. So I thought instead of indulging in the presumably thousand calorie treat, I'd blog instead.

Does anyone have a PointsPlus friendly Mac n Cheese recipe?

What are your guilty pleasures? How have you made them PointsPlus friendly?

Meg

Sweet Temptations and Little Victories

Yesterday I fell off the bandwagon. Yup, I did. No, I didn't have a soda. I was really good for breakfast and lunch. But by the time I got to dinner (which was at a friend's house), I had 2 helpings of the meat/green beans/rice. Not so bad, right? I did, after all, have 16 points left for the day.

Then came dessert. My friend and her family pulled out all the leftover Christmas cookies. I proceeded to have one. I'll be good, I thought. After eating one, what's the harm in having a second one? From there I kinda dove in. I don't know how many cookies I ate. I believe it was in the range of 6-8. Maybe as many as a dozen.

I also didn't get my 100 oz of water in for the day. I had 80 oz at work, but failed to obtain the last 20 oz. Ridiculous, right?

But today is a new day. And I've done pretty well. I'm kinda proud of myself. Usually when I fall off the bandwagon, I give up. I usually think, "Screw it. Let's go get McDonalds." But not today.

Another little victory: I bought a shirt 3 years ago...it fit (barely) at the time I bought it. But I needed a shirt to wear to my grandmother's viewing (morbid, I know) and it was at Target, so I picked it up. Anyway, the last time I tried it on, I was miserable. My arms barely fit in it, my stomach was tight in it, and the buttons nearly burst.

This afternoon I went on a 'clean the closet' spree. I got all the clothes out of the closet I wanted to give away. For some reason, I left the shirt in there.

As I'm getting ready for my date tonight, I'm trying on clothes, "No...this doesn't look good....no, not this either...hmmm....let's try this one on from 3 years ago even though it didn't look good on me last time...." and...

TA DA!!!!

Not only does it fit, but there's room to spare!

I know you can still see some lumps and bumps, but the shirt hangs pretty well otherwise!

Hooray for little victories!

Meg

Nearing One-derland

I started up Weight Watchers again last week from a 4 month hiatus.

I gotta tell you, it's been so much easier than what I remembered. The Weight Watcher scanner app helps a LOT. Not all barcodes are in the app (my half pint of reduced fat milk wasn't in there, for example), but some things I figured wouldn't be in there actually were.

All this being said, this week I've lost 5lbs!! Which I know is not necessarily the most healthy--recommendations are 1-2lbs per week. I figure the majority of the loss is due to not drinking soda (see previous post for reasons), upping my water intake, and not eating out every day of the week. So I am prepared for not losing as much next week.

But this brings me to the title. I am nearly at one-derland. Again. Yup, I've hovered around one-derland for years. I'll get down to 190, or 196 and then I'll pop over 200 and stay there. It's almost like being over 200 is my comfort zone. I say out loud that I want to be thin. I like the way my body looks in the mirror when I'm toned; I sleep better.

So why the mental block?

I guess we'll see how it goes when I'm back in one-derland.

Cheers to positive thoughts and feelings!

Meg

Not "Doing the Dew"

Wow, it's been 4 months, eh? I've been on a bit of a hiatus, and I apologize for that.

Back in September I got a personal trainer. It's been GREAT so far. She pushes me to do things I never thought I'd be able to do. I'm currently able to bench press 15 lbs on each side of the bar (and the bar is 35lbs...so, that's 65lbs total that I'm benching!). I'm doing hammer curls and assisted pull ups and planks, and reverse sit-ups....and sooooo many other things. My weight has not gone down...but I've lost about 2% of my body fat--which is nothing to really brag about, but it's better than a kick in the pants!

Anyway, with the new year I've made some New Years Resolutions. They range from making my bed daily to saying a rosary daily, to losing 10% of my body fat. Yup, 10%. Pretty lofty goal, eh? If I attain a 10% loss, I'd still be considered obese having 28% body fat. So I still have a looooooong ways to go.

But I'm taking steps.

One thing that's really helped me: I read an article on abcnews.com that truly grossed me out. I was a fan of mountain dew. I would drink it literally every day. 20 oz at minimum. What can I say, I wanted/needed the caffeine. And the taste wasn't half bad either.

That was, until I read the article. Evidently it's a story that was way back from 2010, but the gist of it is: Pepsi's defense for stating a mouse was in a Mountain Dew (Pepsi owns Mountain Dew, btw) was that the acid in Mountain Dew would have turned the mouse gelatinous before it made it the mouth of a person. Yup. That's right. Mountain Dew can disintegrate a mouse.

GROSS, right?

That alone was enough to make me give up Mountain Dew....and all pop/soda (or coke, as ya'll in Oklahoma like to say). It made me think: if it can do that to a mouse....what the heck is it doing to my body?

Which also got me to thinking about all the other gross things I put into my body. Suddenly, McDonald's does not sound as appetizing as it once did. Or any fast food, for that matter. Or pre-packaged food. It makes me want to only eat what I grow. Only problem with that is that I live on the 3rd floor of an apartment complex. Annnnd, while it's currently unusually warm for this time of year in the DC area, I know that it won't stay like this for long and it will turn cold.

So from now on, I'm sticking to drinking 0 calorie coffee for my caffeine fix instead of doing the dew, and seriously considering what I'm putting in my body before I consume anything.

Thoughts? Comments?

Happy and healthy 2012!

Meg